I WANT YOUR KEYS

DigiCrime supports key recovery

The proliferation of encryption technology poses a serious threat to a very large and entrenched worldwide industry, namely criminal hackers like us. Our industry has flourished in the era where encryption technology was tightly controlled, because it kept this technology out of the hands of hapless suckers like yourself. If everyone in the US is able to use proven encryption techniques to encrypt their data and prove authentication for entry to information systems, then this will have a very deleterious effect on what has become a very rapidly growing industry. Our industry provides many high-tech jobs to entrepreneurial individuals seeking to profit from other people's losses. We believe that the government should continue to support our industry by banning strong encryption entirely.

We realize that this approach is unlikely to garner much support outside of government, so we are also supportive of a requirement for key escrow (also known as key recovery) for all communications worldwide. Since few people are likely to buy such products, this serves the needs of the criminal industry by preserving our ability to compromise systems unprotected by cryptography. Moreover, in our experience anything that places encryption keys in more than one location provides us with a business opportunity for compromising that key. We look forward to working closely with corrupt government officials and commercial key escrow partners in the pursuit of economic prosperity.

For these reasons, the management of DigiCrime supports the government's efforts in mandating a key recovery plan for encryption keys.

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DigiCrime is comically hosted by Southwest Cyberport.