The first solution implements a technology pioneered during the 1940s, which we call self escrow. It involves tatooing your master key on the inside of your thigh. This is a low cost solution that scales well across large populations, and may have other government applications as well. The major drawback is that key revocation can only be accomplished by minor surgery (or simultaneous revocation of breathing rights). This service is available for only $49.95, or you can use our do-it-yourself kit for only $19.95 to perform the procedure yourself (a pre-addressed stamped envelope is provided for you to mail a piece of your skin to the US government).
The second solution that we favor uses the new technology of the nineties - the web! Simply find your key listed below, or if your key is not listed, call 1-900-GET-KEYS and authenticate yourself by providing us with your mother's maiden name. The web service is available free of charge, and the 900 service is billed at the rate of only $99 per call.
Both of our solutions have been certified to meet most government key escrow requirements, and are the only solutions to do so thus far.